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All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest–never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership. ~ Ann Landers ~ [Source]

A marriage is a lifetime commitment but looking the rise of divorce rates, it is scary to see that marriage isn’t as secure as before. In any relationship, marriage can be summarised below:

Marriage takes constant work. A great marriage does not just passively unfold after marrying your soul-mate. Instead, the commitment of marriage is a lifetime of proactive “everydays:”

Brother Paul Washer preaches about the purpose of marriage based on the Biblical perspective. He quotes from verses and explains the relationship between God and marriage.

photo credit: theMaykazine

In the past, Chinese marriages were to secure heirs, mostly sons. Divorces were valid if:

• The wife lacks filial piety towards her parents-in-law (不順舅姑). This makes the parents-in-law capable of breaking a marriage against both partners’ will.
• She fails to bear a son (無子).
• She is vulgar or lewd/adulterous (淫).
• She is jealous (妒). This includes objecting to her husband taking an additional wife or concubine.
• She has a vile disease (有惡疾).
• She is gossipy (口多言).
• She commits theft (竊盜).

However, divorce is disallowed if:

• She has no family to return to (有所取無所歸).
• She had observed a full three-year mourning for a parent-in-law (與更三年喪).
• Her husband was poor when they married, and now is rich (前貧賤后富貴).

At this point, what is the purpose of marriage if divorce seems to be easy? In the eyes of the law, a divorce in Singapore means that the couple have to be separated for 3 years living apart before the law will approve of the divorce.

A study of marriage in history reveals that long-lasting marriages are generally those which are more “role” oriented than “romance” oriented.

With the above in mind, the marriage has a purpose. Both play their roles in the marriage instead of just being in love with each other.

Do you have a purpose in your marriage? How did you define your roles?

[Sources: Aish, Words and Verse, The Purpose Driven Marriage, Family Ministries]

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